Psalms 139:14

I cannot believe that today marks one year that we found out about the Doctors 20%...

On this day one year ago we went in for my normal 12 week ultrasound. Only to discover that, at the time, baby Parker had developed cystic hygroma. The OBGYN Doctor informed us that our baby had a sack of fluid on the back of his/her neck. They didn't really know many details but we needed to get to the specialist quickly. She then proceeded to tell us that the Doctor across the street would see us immediately. We quickly gathered our emotions and thing and headed to the Doctor. We waited anxiously in the waiting room to meet our little angel..Dr. Richard Rosemond. His nurse did a quick ultrasound to confirm the things the OB has discovered. She then said Dr. Rosemond would be in shortly. He was in the room within a matter of seconds. He confirmed for the third time what the OB and nurse had found. He wanted me to get dressed and head to his office and he would answer all questions there. So we headed to his office and started asking our 1000 questions. We asked all the horrible questions.. like..is our baby going to die? and etc. He was so wonderful at addressing them and honestly. He told us everything there ever was to know about Hygroma. He gave us all the good,bad, and worse news. So the scoop was that our baby had a 20% chance of being born with a "malfunction", 20% chance of being just fine and 80% of me miscarrying. Wow..what kind of numbers are those? Scary scary numbers. He told me we would come back at 16 weeks and recheck the fluid. If it has worsened then we will more than likely loose Baby Parker around 20-21 weeks. If the fluid was the same or had gone down then we would have to do an Amnio. The procedure when the stick a needle into my amniotic sac, draw fluid and run tests on it. It is very dangerous..it can lead to infection and also loosing Baby Parker again. So we went home that night and cried like we had never cried before. We were asking God WHY WHY WHY? What are you doing God? We were very scared. We called lots and lots of people and before the sun rose the next morning more than 200 people knew about Baby Parkers story. We had people praying all over the globe. Me and Clay went home that night and prayed and asked God for his will..not ours. We told God that we were ok with having a special needs child. We were ready to be parents to whatever kind of child he had in mind for us. I wish I could explain it in words but..when me and Clay lifted our heads off the pillow the next morning we had such a peace. Ya know..the peace that passes all understanding. The peace that ONLY comes from God. THAT PEACE! Undescibable peace. Thank you Jesus. We went to church Sunday morning and had people praying and reminding us that God never makes mistakes. So fast forwarding 4 weeks..we went back at 16 weeks. Nervous as could be.. just so anxiously waiting to see if the fluid had gotten better,worse,or stayed the same. Dr. Rosemond did the ultrasound and say the fluid had DECREASED and almost WENT AWAY! WHAT?!? You are telling me that a baby that had 3 times the amount of fluid on the back of its head 4 weeks ago..that the fluid is almost gone?!? We just cried and cried. So he decided to proceed with the Amnio. We were all very nervous for the procedure. We wanted to make sure Baby Parker was ok but didn't want to put me in any kind of danger. I will admit, it was very very painful. It hurt very bad. We also found out at this visit that we would be welcoming William Gage Parker! Congrats It's A Boy the nurse told us!!!!!!!So the Dr said it would be 2+ weeks before the results would be in. It was actually only 4 days. The nurse called and said..I just wanted to let you know that your amnio came back..wait for it..wait for it..PERFECT! Dr. Rosemond just wanted me to call you and let you know! I said are you serious? Its all clear? Its negative of any disease, etc? She said yes mam..everything was just right. I just lost it on the phone. I said thank you soo much, ive got to call my husband. So slowly the word got around that Gage was just right. God didn't necessarily "answer our prayer"..he just fulfilled his will!

God taught me so much during the 9 months of my pregnancy.
1. I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.God never left us that night when we were home all alone and couldn't speak..just cry. Just asking God for answers and directions in our life. He never left me when I was laying on the table with a needle in my belly scared to death! He was always there. I believe he even sent angels our way to calm us and be with us. <3
2. We didn't change Gods mind when we prayed to him.He had already decided what he wanted to do. He just wanted us to come to him with our need and burden. I believe that with all my heart.
3. God puts storms in our life to direct us back to him.I think sometimes we forget who told the sun to rise each morning. Who allowed us another day. Who got us to and from work safely. Who watched over our babies at night when we were sleeping. Who paid that bill this month when the check book plainly said the money wasn't there. God gave Clay and I this storm so we would turn back to him and HE would get all the praise and glory.
4. God certainly makes ONE soul mate for you.I never could have done this without Clay. He was so strong through it all. I know God gave us each other..but when he "confirms" it it makes me so happy! I never thought that I would EVER have to talk my husband about possible funeral arrangements for our child. Clay was so wonderful and let me cry and never told me not to. I sure do love him!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Sidenote...

Some ask..did you ever think about aborting? The day we found out about Gage having this the Dr did tell us that alot of people get to this stage and go ahead and abort. Only because they don't want to face the trial of POSSIBLY loosing their child. I just wish I could share the stories with you that I read about precious ladies that were going to abort and they ended up in the same case and us. A PERFECTLY healthy baby. So the answer to that was NO. We never thought about aborting. I believe we were able to be a huge testimony to Dr. R when we told him God gave us this baby and it was HIS decision on what to do with it.

Just to be honest..

Before this happened in my life God was almost an elf on the shelf. I would get him down when I needed him and put him back up when I was "done" with him. During this I realized God really was someone I could go to. He understood every thought and fear I had. I couldn't just go to anyone and tell them how I felt because they may critise me for thinking that. Only God knew!

I thank the Lord for this trial in my life. My preacher recently stated that we don't thank for GOD Cystic Hygroma..we thank him IN the Cystic Hygroma. Meaning we thank God for putting us in the fire and pulling us through.

We sure we glad to meet the doctors 20% on July 14th 2011, 100% perfect!

Thank you Jesus for your blessings on me!