Liam Brabson Gillespie- Happy 1st Birthday!

My precious Nephew.. Liam Brabson Gillespie was born one year ago today! Weighing in at a whopping 6 lbs 4 oz! It sure was a long journey awaiting his arrival. First Grandbaby on both sides. We were so excited to finally meet him. I remember when we were guessing what he was going to be. Me and Sara both put in for a girl. Even though we knew deep down inside he was a boy! In the long run, thank goodness he was!!! Then we day finally came and I got the phone call I had so anxiously been waiting for. " Im headed to the hospital, I have been having contractions all night." YAYYY!!!! So we packed up our stuff and headed to sit and wait for this precious baby boy to arrive. After several loong hours and the scare of a c-section.5:51am rolled around and there he was. Just perfect. It was such a mircle literally watching him be born! What an honor and priviledge to be by Zach and Saras side as they welcomed their bundle of joy. I tried my best to capture ever second but I missed a few do to the pure amasement of what had just taken place. He captured our hearts immediatly. Zach and Sara both did an awesome job just picking up at the parenting rolls. Watching Zach come out in the hall and show Liam off and seeing the joy on his face. Sara was also very happy.. BUT she had been given two ambiens around 11 pm and they were far from worn off during delievery. I think she was on some other planet ! :) She would push and then LITERALLY fall back asleep. We would wake her up to push and then back to sleep! HA! :)I never imagined loving Liam as much as I did the very second he entered into the world. I was overwhelmed with joy that I could call him MY NEPHEW!

He was soo stinking adorable. He came out so nosey..with his eyes wide open wanting to know what this big world was all about! AND why we all looked soo exhausted!

So the fun begins with a new baby in the family. The camera was already screaming from exhaustion!! I sure do love this boy already. I felt like I had an instant connection with him the moment I laid eyes on him. He was a miracle that God had given us and we were ever so thankful! 

I know I have said it 100 times already, but I love this little boy. He sure did change my world. I know hes not my son but close enough. I cherrish every single day that we get to explore the world together. I wont ever forget the day that "Aunt Squishy & Squish" came into exsistance! What a day! I will always be his Aunt Squishy. Another awesome moment with him was just the other day when he FINALLY learned the sign for please. He did it and did it in the right context. YAY LIAM! He is a precious little boy and I am so glad that I get to be apary of his life. He has a long road ahead of him but I know he will do great in all he chooses to be. I will probally squal like a baby at his party Saturday but we will party on! I love you Liam Brabson.

I shall call you Squishy, and you will be mine, and he will be my little Squishy!!

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY SQUISH!!!!!!!!

Zach & Sara,

WOW. What an awesome year it has been. I couldnt ever tell you enough how awesome of parents you guys are to little man. You may not have done everything right but you did a pretty durn good job. Even during those long nights and teething moments you were awesome. Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to be such a huge part of Liams life. I wouldnt take anything in this world for it. I love you guys! Once again, you did GREAT! Now lets get this party on!!!

<3 AS!

Through it ALL.

My very favorite song.

It was a song that was brought to us during Gage's journey. Wow, did it fit. It never meant more than that specific time in my life. God always brings it to mind when the Devil decides to fight me one day. When he throws those thoughts in my head about not being a good mommy& not meeting HIS standards. When I just cant fight it anymore. God throws this song in my head. It brings me to tears every single time I hear it. You dont know the ALL things till you have been through the ALL things.

Romans 8:28- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Verse 1:
Lately I've been looking back along this winding road to the old familiar markers of the mercies I have known. I know it may sound simple but its more than I can explain. Theres no other words to tell you than to say.
Chorus:
Gods been good in my life. I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams as I go to sleep each night. Sure I've had my share of hard times. By myside hes always stood. THROUGH IT ALL God's been good.
Verse 2:
Times replay and I can see that I cried some bitter tears. But I've felt his arms around me as I faced my darkest years. I've had more gains than losses. And I've known more joy that hurts. And his grace fell down upon me undeserved.
Chorus
Bridge:
Oh God has been my father, my savior and my friend. His love was my beginning and his love wil be my end. I could spend forever trying to tell you everything hs is. But the best was I can say it is this.
Chrous

Some might ask, well what is covered under the "ALL THINGS"? Like I said before the ALL THINGS..are ALL THINGS! God never said he wouldnt be there through cancer, through a sick child, through a divorce, through heartache, through a job loss, forclosure, death, marriage problems, college, etc! The list goes on and on.He said in Hebrews 13:5 ... I will NEVER leave thee , nor forsake thee. God will always be there. I think alot of times he IS there and we overlook him. My preacher has always said that God dosent move..we move. So when we are lost in a circumstance and cant find God. He is there we just need to turn back to him.

I am so thankful that God's been good THROUGH IT ALL!

Family..

I read a quote just recently. " No matter how poor a man is, if he has a family, hes a RICH man".

That is so so true. Now that I have my own family I see it even more.

Most people know but just in case I will tell the story~

In Feb 1997 my parents, my sister, and I moved to Georgia from North Carolina. God had laid it on my parents heart to move here and help my current Pastor start our church. We moved on a huuge step of faith. At the time I was 7 and Sara was 11. So we were pretty young. Dont remember a whole lot from NC as far as being with my family. The most part was at Christmas us all getting together at my Grandmothers house and celebrating. Oh precious memories! So when we moved here, to me, it seemed like we were starting all over. It sure was an adjustment to us not having Aunt, Uncles, Cousins and even Grandparents around. We just had us 4. We didn't really no any one. We lived in a very small camper for 6+ months. Needless to say, we became a very close nit family. We also lived in a hotel room for 13 days while our house was being built. We were always together. Mama stayed home and watched kids at our house. My family always ate around the dinner table. Most of the time it was 7 days a week. Even when Mama would go get Arbys and bring it home. We set the table and ate there. As you can see we realized the importance of family really quick.

As I have gotten older I have realized that you will have friends and people come and go. Family always stays. Even when you have problems within your family..they still remain FAMILY! You apologize..pick up and move on! Its amazing how God incorporated all of this. When my Grandmother passed away last month we had lots of friends say sweet things..but when family says sweet things it means so much more. I think we all personally hold family to a higher standard than friends. Which I think we should.

I am going off on a tangent..but in a nutshell I am soo very thankful for my family. I am thankful for my precious Husband and wonderful little boy. I sure do love my Godly parents that raised me the way children should be raised. I am thankful for my awesome totally rad sister and brother in law. I cannot leave out, my out of this world Nephew! Hes pretty awesome too! AND..those in laws! I really couldn't have asked God for better ones!My mother and father in law have went over and beyond their duties. Both my sister in laws and my other brother in law and nieces are precious to me too. I sure do miss my distant family. My family in NC. I wish we were closer than we are just so we can watch our kids grow up and know each other. But, this is where God has planted us and we need to grow where we are hear. I also miss my Grandfather. He is my only grandparent not in Heaven. Words cant describe how much I love him! There is just something about grandparents.

Friends come and go, but as long as I have my family I am a happy girl!

As you can see..we have alot to be thankful for. That was just talking about family. Not to mention shoes on my feet..food on my table..a roof up above me..and a good place to sleep!

If you haven't told someone in your family today that you love them..I challenge you to!

Psalms 139:14

I cannot believe that today marks one year that we found out about the Doctors 20%...

On this day one year ago we went in for my normal 12 week ultrasound. Only to discover that, at the time, baby Parker had developed cystic hygroma. The OBGYN Doctor informed us that our baby had a sack of fluid on the back of his/her neck. They didn't really know many details but we needed to get to the specialist quickly. She then proceeded to tell us that the Doctor across the street would see us immediately. We quickly gathered our emotions and thing and headed to the Doctor. We waited anxiously in the waiting room to meet our little angel..Dr. Richard Rosemond. His nurse did a quick ultrasound to confirm the things the OB has discovered. She then said Dr. Rosemond would be in shortly. He was in the room within a matter of seconds. He confirmed for the third time what the OB and nurse had found. He wanted me to get dressed and head to his office and he would answer all questions there. So we headed to his office and started asking our 1000 questions. We asked all the horrible questions.. like..is our baby going to die? and etc. He was so wonderful at addressing them and honestly. He told us everything there ever was to know about Hygroma. He gave us all the good,bad, and worse news. So the scoop was that our baby had a 20% chance of being born with a "malfunction", 20% chance of being just fine and 80% of me miscarrying. Wow..what kind of numbers are those? Scary scary numbers. He told me we would come back at 16 weeks and recheck the fluid. If it has worsened then we will more than likely loose Baby Parker around 20-21 weeks. If the fluid was the same or had gone down then we would have to do an Amnio. The procedure when the stick a needle into my amniotic sac, draw fluid and run tests on it. It is very dangerous..it can lead to infection and also loosing Baby Parker again. So we went home that night and cried like we had never cried before. We were asking God WHY WHY WHY? What are you doing God? We were very scared. We called lots and lots of people and before the sun rose the next morning more than 200 people knew about Baby Parkers story. We had people praying all over the globe. Me and Clay went home that night and prayed and asked God for his will..not ours. We told God that we were ok with having a special needs child. We were ready to be parents to whatever kind of child he had in mind for us. I wish I could explain it in words but..when me and Clay lifted our heads off the pillow the next morning we had such a peace. Ya know..the peace that passes all understanding. The peace that ONLY comes from God. THAT PEACE! Undescibable peace. Thank you Jesus. We went to church Sunday morning and had people praying and reminding us that God never makes mistakes. So fast forwarding 4 weeks..we went back at 16 weeks. Nervous as could be.. just so anxiously waiting to see if the fluid had gotten better,worse,or stayed the same. Dr. Rosemond did the ultrasound and say the fluid had DECREASED and almost WENT AWAY! WHAT?!? You are telling me that a baby that had 3 times the amount of fluid on the back of its head 4 weeks ago..that the fluid is almost gone?!? We just cried and cried. So he decided to proceed with the Amnio. We were all very nervous for the procedure. We wanted to make sure Baby Parker was ok but didn't want to put me in any kind of danger. I will admit, it was very very painful. It hurt very bad. We also found out at this visit that we would be welcoming William Gage Parker! Congrats It's A Boy the nurse told us!!!!!!!So the Dr said it would be 2+ weeks before the results would be in. It was actually only 4 days. The nurse called and said..I just wanted to let you know that your amnio came back..wait for it..wait for it..PERFECT! Dr. Rosemond just wanted me to call you and let you know! I said are you serious? Its all clear? Its negative of any disease, etc? She said yes mam..everything was just right. I just lost it on the phone. I said thank you soo much, ive got to call my husband. So slowly the word got around that Gage was just right. God didn't necessarily "answer our prayer"..he just fulfilled his will!

God taught me so much during the 9 months of my pregnancy.
1. I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.God never left us that night when we were home all alone and couldn't speak..just cry. Just asking God for answers and directions in our life. He never left me when I was laying on the table with a needle in my belly scared to death! He was always there. I believe he even sent angels our way to calm us and be with us. <3
2. We didn't change Gods mind when we prayed to him.He had already decided what he wanted to do. He just wanted us to come to him with our need and burden. I believe that with all my heart.
3. God puts storms in our life to direct us back to him.I think sometimes we forget who told the sun to rise each morning. Who allowed us another day. Who got us to and from work safely. Who watched over our babies at night when we were sleeping. Who paid that bill this month when the check book plainly said the money wasn't there. God gave Clay and I this storm so we would turn back to him and HE would get all the praise and glory.
4. God certainly makes ONE soul mate for you.I never could have done this without Clay. He was so strong through it all. I know God gave us each other..but when he "confirms" it it makes me so happy! I never thought that I would EVER have to talk my husband about possible funeral arrangements for our child. Clay was so wonderful and let me cry and never told me not to. I sure do love him!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Sidenote...

Some ask..did you ever think about aborting? The day we found out about Gage having this the Dr did tell us that alot of people get to this stage and go ahead and abort. Only because they don't want to face the trial of POSSIBLY loosing their child. I just wish I could share the stories with you that I read about precious ladies that were going to abort and they ended up in the same case and us. A PERFECTLY healthy baby. So the answer to that was NO. We never thought about aborting. I believe we were able to be a huge testimony to Dr. R when we told him God gave us this baby and it was HIS decision on what to do with it.

Just to be honest..

Before this happened in my life God was almost an elf on the shelf. I would get him down when I needed him and put him back up when I was "done" with him. During this I realized God really was someone I could go to. He understood every thought and fear I had. I couldn't just go to anyone and tell them how I felt because they may critise me for thinking that. Only God knew!

I thank the Lord for this trial in my life. My preacher recently stated that we don't thank for GOD Cystic Hygroma..we thank him IN the Cystic Hygroma. Meaning we thank God for putting us in the fire and pulling us through.

We sure we glad to meet the doctors 20% on July 14th 2011, 100% perfect!

Thank you Jesus for your blessings on me!

William Gage Parker

Wanting to be three instead of just two-

Your mom and dad prayed-asking the Lord just for you!

And, just before Christmas in 2010-

That prayer was answered-and, a new chapter in their life would begin!

Everything was perfect-going along just fine-

Then, the morning sickness started-and, your mom couldn't dine!

A few more weeks into the pregnancy-with family standing around,

The doctor said on the ultrasound a cystic hygroma was found.

The doctors said the outlook isn't all that great-

For most babies like this, there is only a 20% survival rate.

Of course we were worried- we've never heard of this before-

But, we knew no matter what we wanted you in our arms to adore!

So, we got on our knees and we asked the Lord to heal you-

And, your parents- why one day-you'll know their testimony too!

They never gave up-their faith only increased-

And, we said we will Praise His Name for He is the High Priest!

And,before we knew it- well, you didn't need that specialist anymore-

The doctor said he's perfect-we don't even see the fluid we saw before!

Then, on July 14, we gave shouts of praise to the Lord!

For you were here with us and your Daddy was cutting the cord!

We'll never forget the moment you were born that day-

Your Mama cried your name as upon her chest you would lay!

Ten long fingers and precious tiny feet,

You were healthy as you could be-so precious and so sweet!

Don't ever forget,William Gage Parker- as you grow and become a young man-

You're a precious miracle-and, for you, God has a great plan!!

*I wanted to share this with everyone! Gage's aunt Dawn wrote this for him. She is just a great writer!! I cry every time I read this.

Thanks again Aunt Dawn. We love you!!!!*

Gage's Arrival Week- Day #1

So, this time next week I will be holding my precious miracle. Crazy to think. It has defiantly been a crazy weekend. Emotions and hormones running crazy. Here is the story:

Friday I had been having small consistent contractions most of the day. Sara came over around 130 and we went to Conyers and did some shopping. While we were shopping I told Sara I thought I was having contractions they just weren't very strong. We then wrapped up shopping and headed back to my house to "walk them off". When I got home they got stronger than they had ever been. We then proceeded to call the Dr. She said we could  come to the hospital and just see, or wait it out at home. I was in way to much pain to stay home..so we headed to Athens. To make a long story short we got there and I was still 2cm dilated but 70% effaced. We had made some progress. So we walked for two hours and then still no progress.She gave me some pain meds to help me relax and sleep to see if we would progress anymore.After 2 more hours, still NOTHING. When she told us I had made no more progress I was sooo upset. I just knew he was coming Friday/Saturday. Then to be let down, I was just crushed. So we packed up and headed home.

Then Saturday afternoon we went to the pool for a few hours and I swam my little tail off..and that brought on some more contractions. Afterwards my mom, Sara, and I went and got the dreaded Castor Oil and headed to the mall to walk. I took about 1 tbsp of the oil and mixed it in a shake. I didn't taste it at all. Then we walked for about 2 hours and nothing happened. Clay just knew that he was going to get a phone call saying " Her water broke..hurry up here". Obviously, he didn't. So we came back home and still nothing.

Sunday morning I had a few contractions but felt HORRIBLE. I guess I had wore myself out over the weekend. So here we sit Monday morning and nothing.

A lot of people have been very open about what they think about us trying to "rush" Gage. It hit me really hard and bad. I just felt like they were saying you are crazy...wait! We have waited waited and more waiting during the past 9+ months. We are over the waiting game. We know Gage is healthy and we are so ready for him to be here. Its almost like you go on the best vacation ever and talk about it for weeks,years. Then finally get the opportunity to take someone there and share the same experience. Then they understand why you love it so much and talked about it so much. That's how I feel with Gage. So many people have prayed for him and us.We are ready to show the world that God still works miracles. We are ready to show off our "20%". We have living proof of it all. I think every mother at 38+ weeks of pregnancy hits this stage. They will do almost anything to get the baby out to hold and love on.

Even as ready as I am to meet Gage and call him mine, I have so many mixed emotions. Clay and I have had several talks about US. In other words, we understand Gage is important and ours forever but OUR MARRIAGE COMES FIRST!!!!! When Gage grows up and moves away we will still have US. So many people these days get wrapped up in their kids and forget about their spouse. I am terrified of that. I think since we have a conscious thought about NOT doing that it wont happen. Its crazy to think that in 4 days we will have an addition to "Clay and Anna". We have been "Clay and Anna" for almost 8 years. Now it will be " Clay, Anna, and Gage!". What a thought. Never imagined seeing a good looking fireman at the bottom of the bleachers in 2004..falling in love with him..marrying him..and now starting our own family. WOAH!!! Where has the time went?!?

We go back to the Doctor today for our 38/39 week check up. We are seeing our favorite midwife today. The midwife we saw Friday night at the hospital is very by the book. She is all about letting nature do the work and so on. The one we are seeing today has had 3 kids and KNOWS what it is like to be this pregnant and ready to get things going. Hopefully we will have progressed enough to just head on to the hospital. :) If not then we will for sure be there Friday night. We are scheduled for the induction Friday night at 6pm. We have to be there between 530-545 and then will start everything at 6.

Thanks everyone for everything. We cant wait to show Baby Gage off. 4 more days!

-Anna

Good To See Ya Son..

I can't believe it has already been close to a month since my last blog. It's crazy because that is pretty much what we have left till my due date! Time is flying by. Since the last blog alot has went on at the Parker Household. We have had 2( I think) visits back to St. Mary's due to Gage not moving. Well I didnt feel him move..but he was! Thank the Lord. It was the way he was laying both times. It's just scary..so we go and get things checked out just to be on the safe side. The last time I went I was actually having small Braxton Hicks. The nurse and midwife said that it was ok to have those, as long as I didn't have more than 4 an hour. Ever since then I have them almost daily. Some days worse than others. My midwife, Meredith, said that it could be a good sign. Meaning that when I get to full term ( June 24) that I might have progressed and he would come alittle early! :) We went back last week for our regularly scheduled appointment. That day I had been having lots of constant lower back pain. I was concerned because Sara had mainly all back labor. So when I have back pain I get concerned!!! Anyway, she said that since I was having it most of the day that she would check to see if I had dialited any. She checked and no signs of Gage coming soon! That was good. So, she told me to continue to DRINK DRINK DRINK! Sometimes you can have contractions from slight dehydration.

Also since the last post we had our first shower. It was just perfect. My mother & sister in law did a bang up job. The food was great and we got lots and lots of stuff. I think we had approx 50+ people there. We pretty much got all our big stuff. Swing, highchair, bath tub, diaper pail! It was so cute seeing all the blue stuff and know it was all for us/ Gage. I got a very special gift from my mom. It was a quilt that had been passed down for many generations. My mom and sister got it and put some green fabric around the edges to "finish it" and gave it to me/ Gage. My grandmother that is dying from ALS had worked on it and was going to give it to me. Since she is in the shape she is in she was unable to. When I opened it I cried and cried. Well, everyone at the shower shed a tear or two. It was a very special moment. Something that I will always cherish. Gage also got his first wagon from Aunt Sara. I cant wait for him and Liam to go riding in it. Wont be long!!! Thank you to everyone that helped with the shower or came! It was perfect and I enjoyed every part of it.

Another very special part of the shower was this story..
Clay's precious grandmother, also know as "Mawaw", came to the shower. She is so precious and sweet. She's so much fun to be around and has a heart full of gold. I took right up to her when I met her and adopted her as my grandmother since both of mine lived 5+ hours away. Anyway, she was sitting talking to Clay at the shower and she said " Clay boy , are you excited about this baby boy coming?"..he responded with " Well yes mam', but when he gets here the first thing I am going to do is woop him for all he has put us through.". Then the most profound thing come out her mouth " No son, your gonna say Good to see ya son". HOW PROFOUND. As Clay tells me the story after the shower he has tears flowing down his face. It is so true, as much as we have been through it sure is gonna be nice to just have him here and see him. I think I will fall to my knees and just Thank God for this blessing and miracle. Clay actually got to use this story the next day in his lesson with the teens. He turned it around and said that is what God will say when we finally see him face to face in Heaven. He could say " Lay over my leg for a woopen".. but instead he will say Good to see ya son! So powerful.

I was supposed to sing a part in a song with the choir July 4th..and the title of the song is " I have been blessed". The song simply talks about all the small things in life that we often over look. Things we need to be thankful for..arms that will raise..shoes on our feet..food on our table..etc. We had to reschedule the song for several different reasons. I was talking to our Piano player at church and telling her that after Gage gets here and I have to sing that song that it will probally be tears throughout the whole song. Seeing that little baby boy and all we have been blessed with. I am so excited to be able to show off God's work of art. I can't wait to see what God has planned for this little boy and our family in years to come. I know that Satan will try his best to destroy it and change all the plans.. praying Gage looks for God in all he does.

Tomorrow marks week 35. Can't believe it. Thanks again for the prayers and sweet words of encouragement. Love you all and can't wait for you to meet this little man!!!!

Anna